Failure is the Only Option

Failure. My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach when I read that word. I don’t know about you, but I’ve recently discovered I have a HUGE fear of failure. In my experience, I’m not alone in that fear. In fact, fear of failure is one of the leading reasons people don’t attempt to try something new, follow their dreams, and I bet it’s the reason the #1 fear of people is public speaking—more people fear this than dying. So, if fear of failure is really the root cause of the fear of public speaking, than it’s safe to say that failure is the true #1 fear—most people just probably don’t realize the source of their fear.

So how in the world can failure be redefined in order to empower me & embrace failure? I’m going to the computing dictionary for this one. Since fear starts in the mind, it’s only natural to reason that our dislike of failure is a computing issue with the mind. Our minds actually work much like a computer (or computers work much like our minds—you choose) and if the message we receive or process is mis-coded, the message is all jumbled up. The definition I found to replace my old non-serving way of dealing with the word failure is: “The inability of a system or system component to perform a required function within specified limits.” It continues to say, “A failure may be produced when a fault is encountered.”

Now, if you are thinking, “Yep, that’s failure… nothing new there,” then I encourage you to take special notice to the part about “specified limits.” As human beings, we are limited by our own personal, unique perspective of the world. We only experience what is happening to us, and we are taught/our brains process information in a linear manner: A, B, C, D,… The problem or “fault” with this is that the Universe around us works in a matrix. It’s processing is A, Q, T, F,…and we may not get to B for quite some time. When our limited perspective doesn’t see B after A, and instead some other letter, we freak out, decide B’s not coming & declare the whole experience a failure. Once the full picture is in place, we can look back and realize our misperception of the situation & see there was never a reason to freak out in the first place…we just didn’t see that B was right around the corner.

I recently took on another, deeper level of embracing failure. It dawned on me that by the very nature of succeeding; you are failing at what you were previously doing. To start something new, you must leave behind the old. If you out grow a job and move into a promotion, you have failed to maintain your old position. If you regain your health, you failed to stay unhealthy. If you cheer up, you fail to stay sad. All of this made me realize that the first step in succeeding is failure! Boy! Now I’m excited! Now I see everything completely different & I can’t WAIT to be a failure with where I currently am, to I can succeed in where I’m striving to go. Instead of being paralyzed by fear of failure, I now seek out & get excited about what I’m going to fail at. I’ve got my power back.

What do you want to be a failure at so you become what you want to be?

Ready to Receive!

 

Receiving is something a lot of us struggle with. In our society, we are conditioned to believe that being selfish is a bad thing & we commonly hear the expression “it is better to give, than to receive.” The majority of people, whether consciously or not, find it easier to give to others than to receive from another. I’m not sure if its pride, the fear of seeming greedy, or a core belief system that we do not deserve. People reflect compliments, reject assistance & stop themselves from receiving gifts from strangers & even those they are the closest to.

 

Looking at the roots of the word “receive,” I found the definition: “regain, take back.” To me, this switches my thinking from taking from someone, to simply reclaiming what is actually mine to begin with. Now, receiving is simple, easy & something I was designed to do.

 

I once heard the notion proposed, that when we enter into this life, we splinter into a bizillion pieces (actual number unknown by me, so a bizillion sounds appropriate) throughout the Universe. Throughout our life, we travel throughout the world, connecting with people & gathering back the pieces of ourselves that only they hold. Its like each person we encounter throughout our journey has a little gift, just for us, uniquely perfect, and each is a piece to the wondrous puzzle that is our Authentic Self. One by one, piecing together a picture much larger than ourselves, divinely connected.

 

Adopting this philosophy, I have begun to practice connecting with every one in my path. I believe that everything I require will be provided for me through the laws of the Universe. One of my great mentors, Matthew Ferry, assisted me in realizing that everything we require we receive from other people. Just think about it for a minute. Anything you have ever accomplished in life involved other people. I combine this thinking with my faith that God will put everything I require in my path (simply because I’ve requested for this to happen) and now I look at people as each holding a unique gift for me & all I have to do is take the time to discover what it is. In the same turn, I have a gift for them, a piece of them that belongs to them, and it is my duty (and pleasure) to return it to them. It’s not mine; so I have no desire to keep it, only pass it along. And to make it even more fun, exciting & enjoyable, I have no idea what gift I hold for them, so I’m just as excited to see what it is when I give it to them. PLUS I get the bonus return gift of having them receive my unexpected gift. It’s beautiful, endless cycle of contribution.

 

Once I discovered this line of thinking, I began to look around & watch people. I noticed how many do not look to connect with others. In general, we are unplugged, disconnected, conditioned to mind our own business & keep to ourselves. It was a huge eye-opener for me to realize how much I go throughout my day without looking people in the eye. Once I began to do so, I found that there are other people who do the same thing! Every encounter & connection we have with another being, we are silently saying “I see you. You exist. You matter & I care.” Regardless if its holding the door open for someone, giving a stranger a hand, paying someone a compliment, offering peace in a stressful situation, a shoulder to cry on, a warm meal, or simply a warm smile, these are all gifts, splintered pieces of another, that you are returning to its Home, its desired & divine destination. Each piece returning, contributing to the whole, which in turn, is simply just another piece in yet another, greater Whole.

 

What gifts are you missing out on giving & receiving?

Thriving on Empty

Empty is a funny word. It doesn’t provoke much action and usually refers to a lacking or being without. You can feel empty inside, be sad to find your box of favorite treats empty, and no one likes to wind up on the side of the road with an empty tank. Emptiness makes me think of loneliness, sadness, and a longing for more.

When tracing back to the roots of empty, I was surprised to find an original definition of empty being: “freedom from fear.” How liberating! This is absolutely a new way of viewing empty for me! The term was coined to refer to people that enjoyed freedom from duties, and therefore were unoccupied, which eventually lead to referring to objects that were unoccupied. This definition brought my attention to the possibilities that lie in the empty. With emptiness, I find freedom & the choice to fill the space with anything of my liking. Instead of seeing what wonderful thing I desire as missing, now I view the void as a freedom from dislikes, as well as offering limitless potential to be filled with my most treasured desires & opportunities.

So now instead of looking at the glass  as half full or half empty, I say I’d prefer an entirely empty glass so I may fill it up with whatever I desire!

Making Peace with Resistance

One of the most serving habits I have taken on is to become aware of my resistance to what life brings. My greatest mentors have taught me that what you resist persists, and through my own trials, I have found this to be the case 100% of the time. Resistance has taken on a very negative meaning in my world & I’m ready to make a change in my perspective so I don’t end up resisting resistance, and in the process, bring even more resistance into my life. Being a devout believer in the Law of Attraction, which may also be viewed as the teachings of great leaders such as Christ depending on what camp your tent is pitched in, I believe that this law, or power, is in constant action in our world—much like the Law of Gravity. Gravity doesn’t care if you believe in it or not, its going to keep on working none the less. Even in the scientific world we are taught like attracts like, and for every action there is an opposite & equal reaction, so regardless of your personal spiritual beliefs, you can find validity in the notion.

In getting to the roots of the word resistance, I found the meaning: “organized covert opposition to an occupying or ruling power.” So, since I accept the Law of Attraction as a ruling power, resistance is my opposition to the Law of Attraction. And since I believe I am the one initiating the attraction by my beliefs, thoughts & actions, I am therefore opposing myself—I am opposing my own power! Now that doesn’t make much sense to me at all.

So how do I get my power back? By using my emotions as an indicator to detect my resistance to people, places, ideas, situations, etc…I can use this as a signal of where I am in conflict with myself. I can uncover what I am sending out in the world by looking at my resistance to what I am receiving. Now, I am taking my power back, becoming aware of what non-serving things I am attracting into my life (if they were serving, I wouldn’t be opposed to them) and this allows me to shift my perspective & attract my desires. This one tool of identifying & embracing resistance has dramatically changed my life & has ultimately lead me to identifying & embracing my own power. What you resist persists, and what you embrace transforms. What could you transform right now if you embrace your resistance & join forces with your power?

Embracing Agitation

 

In today’s society, agitation seems to be at an all time high. Between work stress, road rage, health care costs and a downtrodden economy, you could probably ask just about anyone what they are agitated about & get a list of culprits before you even bat an eye. In fact, you’re probably running down a list of things that agitate you right now! The reasons, causes of & solutions to these agitations can be discussed & debated all day, however, like the law of attraction states, this usually just brings about more agitation…especially when discussed between opposing sides. Even reading the word “agitate” makes me squirm as if trying to brush something off that I don’t want on me.

 

Interestingly enough, when I got to the roots of the word agitate, I discovered a powerful, serving definition: “to put in constant motion; to move, drive.” This sounds very positive, like an experience I would like to have, so this got me thinking. I have adopted a belief system that the world around me is a reflection of what I need to learn in order to live into my true potential. Much like what I’m focusing on with this blog, redefining the world around me, I redefine undesirable situations & behaviors around me so that they serve me, verses allowing them to bring me down. With this philosophy, I use my emotions to indicate when a lesson is present. When undesirable situations arise, I definitely would describe the emotion I experience as agitation. Therefore, I truly experience the root definition I just uncovered. By using agitation as a tool to learn, grow & shift my perspective, agitation is for sure moving & driving me, keep me in constant motion toward my full potential.

 

Nature teaches us the same lesson (and usually always does if we take notice). Just look at beautiful pearls. Pearls are valued for their beauty & if we look at the process of how they are made, it all starts with a tiny grain of sand that gets trapped inside an oyster. This grain, though tiny to us, is extremely agitating to the oyster. The oyster doesn’t seek therapy, pain relieving drugs, commit suicide or homicide or any other negative acts. The oyster accepts the conditions it was given, and embraces the process. The oyster endures the agitation & as a result, develops a stunning treasure. If you adopted this same perspective with the agitations you come across in your day-to-day existence, what beautiful pearls could you produce?

 

I challenge you to start noticing what agitates you. You may want to sit down and right a list of your top agitations or just take note the next time you feel something agitate you in the moment. Ask yourself: “what can I learn from this situation?” Could you learn how one person’s actions can affect others, and therefore commit to greater awareness over your own actions & their effect over others? Could you learn the heartache of being mislead & commit to never misleading others—or deeper still, never misleading yourself? Could you learn that others may not have been given the positive examples, love & support that you have been blessed to experience, and commit to paying that forward to others daily? Could you see someone else’s lack of compassion toward another, and commit to having more compassion for others, yourself & also the offender? Look back at past agitations you have endured. Have you already made some beautiful pearls of your own? I know that I have.

 

The bottom line is this: By nature, we are designed to experience agitation. It is a vehicle in moving us forward. It is up to us how we deal with it. I’m choosing to embrace the process & allow what agitates me to drive me toward something beautiful. Don’t allow your misinterpretation of this feeling hold you back any longer.

 

Always Assume the Best

 

I, for one, am not found of assumptions. They seem to lead in the wrong direction, influence negative thoughts, promote gossip, create unnecessary worry, and bring hidden fears to the forefront of the mind. Assuming leads to confusion, break downs in communications, and can cause two forces to work against one another without ever exploring the possibilities of working together. Assumptions involve predicting the unknown and generally end up being very misleading. We assume in order to protect ourselves from unforeseen attacks & to keep us safe by avoiding unforeseen danger. Are you picking up on a pattern? There’s a lot of predicting going on due to all the unforeseen.

 

Upon getting to the roots of the word “assume,” I found the definition: “to receive up into heaven.” Now, predicting the most negative scenario possible doesn’t sound like heaven to me, so I’m offering a new approach to assuming that better fits this newfound perspective. Since we can’t foresee the future, and we have no proof of what outcomes will occur, we have no guarantee that we will receive the outcome we desire. Well, we also have no proof that the worse case will occur, either. Since we are going to not know, and we are going to assume, why don’t we follow the new definition and create assumptions that lift us up? Assume your perfect vision. Assume your success. Assume your dreams & desires are the outcome you will experience. Assume & take action with certainty, and prepare yourself to receive your abundance. How much greater will this thinking serve you then assuming and preparing for the worst?

 

If we go back to the post a few days ago on authority, I referenced the fact that many of our great leaders, thinkers & teachers, believe that we create our own reality. What we think about, we bring about. Our thoughts become things. If this is indeed the case, by focusing our thoughts & assumptions on the best outcomes will naturally attract, and in fact bring into reality, these exact desired results. My philosophy: don’t believe a word I say, and don’t believe a word anyone else says. Test everything for yourself. Give it 30 days of shifting your assumptions up to the heavens and see for yourself what results you experience.

 

 

*resource dictionary.com

Gettin’ Sweet on Sacrifice

Sacrifice. Man that word makes my heart sink! I envision having to cut off a limb or do something else I’d really prefer not to be doing. Any situation that involves sacrifice paints a picture in my mind of a lose-lose situation. And I only like to be involved with win-win situations (although win-win-win situations are my favorite!). There are even countless songs of heartache & misery that speak of sacrifice, so I’m guessing I’m not alone in Bummerville when I hear the word…Time for a new meaning!

So, as I’ve been known to do, I got down digging to the roots of sacrifice. To my lovely surprise, I found some inspiration: “to make holy.” Religious or not, it’s hard not to picture the clouds parting & rays of light coming down from the heavens. I truly see sacrifice in a whole new light. Now, I feel honored & blessed to be able to sacrifice. It’s like giving a gift verses being force to get rid of something I value. And that allows me to take on the new perspective that when I sacrifice something—say that second piece of chocolate cake—it must not be of value to me any longer. So why hold on any longer??

Now, if I apply sacrifice to non-serving habits—such as procrastination, or staying up too late—then by sacrificing, I am making the situations holy, by naturally inviting in productivity & optimal energy. Sacrificing now holds the potential to radically change lives, all through giving, so you know it’s got to be a holy act. What things, feelings, beliefs and habits could you sacrifice? What would they be replaced with?
*resource used Dictionary.com

Fear Factor

In my opinion, the worst 4-letter word in our vocabulary is fear. Although in some occasions, fear can serve to keep us safe, generally speaking, fear keeps the majority of the population too safe for their own good—or for the good of the world as a whole. Fear stops so many of us in our tracks and over time, fear can keep us from ever achieving our goals, or simply dreaming in the first place. Fear catches our attention & causes a psychological & physiological reaction in our body, that many of us interrupt as unpleasant, so we try to avoid the sensation as much as possible…breeding only more of the thing we are working to avoid.

The solution?  If running, hiding from & avoiding fear only bring more fear, I propose we redefine & meet fear head-on. Let’s start with a new definition. In getting to the roots, I found a new definition that I am embracing: “to try, risk, come over, go through.” Wow!! I feel like I’ve accomplished something positive just by reading that new definition! Fear now seems like a natural step in over coming & getting through anything placed in my path. Since it’s the only way to get what I want, I say bring it on!

I embraced a new approach to fear & adopted a philosophy for dealing with it at the start of this year, and the practice has paid off big time. My approach: Feel the fear, and do it anyway. A great mentor in my life pointed out that fear is just the anticipation of pain. If we knew we were guaranteed a positive outcome, we would cease to experience fear. Since we cannot foresee the future result of a new endeavor, I propose that when the sensation of fear arises, you use it as a signal that the best outcome is about to appear. Apply the new definition, over come & go through, and excitedly dive head first into the experience. Test this new approach for yourself & you will find you are more capable, powerful, and amazing then you ever knew possible.

*resource used Dictionary.com

Awesome Authority

Authority. I don’t know about you, however, much like the word disciple, authority brings up a touch of resistance within me every time I read, hear or say the word. Authority makes me think restriction, and restriction makes me want to rebel (hope I’m not alone in that!), and the last thing I imagine is skipping through a field of daisies, whistling a tune of gratitude for my glorious life. The restriction I experience with the word moves beyond the emotional/mental aspects & straight into the center of my chest. That feeling could only mean one thing. It’s a signal to me that a new definition is in order!

Digging to the roots of the word authority, I came across a lovely interpretation: “to author.” My heart skipped a beat upon reading those words & a fabulous new perspective & meaning took place in my mind of the beautiful word authority! Now, instead of cringing at the thought of being told what to do & having little to no say in what happens, endless possibilities flood into my world if I am the author of my story/experience. It’s like discovering Aladdin’s lamp—the original one with unlimited wishes; not the dream stealing, adapted & excepted version of only getting three wishes.

The Law of Attraction, the teachings of Christ, great leaders & thinkers such as Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein, & Deepak Chopra, all back up the idea that we create our reality. Gosh! I was getting ready to reference that’s what started this blog to begin with, and realized this practice of redefining the world around me is truly allowing me to, quite literally, author my world. Which leads me to ask myself, and you as well, what do you want authority over in your life? What do you want your life to be like? Where do you want to author a different story/experience for yourself? What could you do today to get started?
*resource used Dictionary.com

Gettin’ Down with Discipline

Discipline. The word alone can send shivers down your spine, evoke this inner need to sit up straight, pull the shoulders back & hold your breath in hopes of being good enough to avoid the negative infliction of punishment that the word brings to mind. Have you ever looked up the definition in the dictionary? In the description you will find words such as punish, penalize, rigor, and chastise. No wonder the word doesn’t bring on the warm fuzzies! With the negative associations that we’ve grown up with & that we’ve come to have with the word in today’s society, it’s no wonder so many of us avoid the word & struggle to be disciplined in certain areas our lives!

However, if we get to the roots of the word discipline, we find a much different story & perspective on the word. Here, we learn that discipline originates from “instructions given to a disciple.” How beautiful is that?? This definition makes me envision the clouds above me parting, rays of sunshine beaming down upon me, & a special mission from the heavens above being entrusted with me. I feel honored & excited to accept the precious duty. I feel inspired to fully grasp the challenge, thought process, or exercise, and learn it inside & out, understand it’s very soul & essence, and to be a living example of task or idea.

Now, take a moment to reflect over your life. What areas do you feel you struggle to maintain balance & peace of mind? Most of us struggle with this balance not for a lack of knowing what to do, but from a lack of consistency & discipline in following through with what will ensure our balance will be maintained. For years I struggled with balancing my weight. This struggle did not come from a lack of knowing that conscious eating & exercise would achieve this. The struggle was because I liked the discipline to follow through with these serving habits consistently. With applying this fresh (actually quite old) perspective on the word discipline, I now strive to be a Disciple of Health. I strive to know it inside & out, understand the very essence & the Zen of health, and be the example—not only to serve my highest self, but to liberate others from the chains of frustration that come with the lack of discipline…which is where the true experience of the modern definition lies.

*resource used: dictionary.com